Be Confident at Work by Adopting 5 New Good Habits

By Nukhba Khan

There was a time when I envied people at my work that walked into the room brimming with confidence and authority. Other coworkers wanted to work with them, admired them, and followed their lead.

I wanted that.

I wanted the power to run successful meetings. I wanted to speak with confidence without second-guessing myself. I wanted to have the guts to speak my mind and confidently add more value at work.

But feeling insecure was a daily work struggle, which made me super anxious at work.

Do you have a similar struggle at work? Are you constantly doubting yourself at work? Always feeling that your work is never good enough?

If you do, I have some good news for you! It’s something that someone said to me in passing that struck me and completely shifted my perspective on confidence …

Confidence is created.

You Have to Build Confidence and Self Esteem.

All this while, I blamed childhood experiences and my genes for my lack of confidence. But when I heard that confidence is something that you build, I saw a ray of hope for myself.

My lack of confidence was getting in my way of achieving the success I dreamed for myself. So, I became determined to build my self-confidence and do whatever I needed to be more confident. I discovered tons of concepts and DAILY HABITS that I practiced consistently. And, today, I can proudly say I believe in myself 200% more than I did back then.

I will be sharing with you all that I learned and all the essentials to successfully improve your self-confidence in work and life.

So let’s get started and kick your lack of self-confidence out the door.

Confidence Killers at Work

Two big confident killers creep in and chip away at our confidence levels at work. You have to stay alert and vigilant and catch them before they start crushing your self-confidence.

Perfectionism

Do you put an extra load of pressure on yourself to attain unrealistic standards and become discouraged when you fail to achieve them? If you do, you have to stop.

Striving for perfection is one of the biggest culprits for our negative self-talk. Now I am not saying that you don’t try to do your best. You absolutely try your best at everything. But you have to tell yourself that your best effort is good enough, and you have to feel proud of yourself for doing the best you could.

We are only human and cannot do everything perfectly all the time. You have to start accepting and be confident with your good enough efforts.

Fear of Failure

This is a big one that cripples our confidence and holds us back in so many ways that we don’t even realize. We fear failure because we get scared that failing will make us look bad in front of others. And we worry too much about how others will perceive us.

As long as you try to do your best and grow in your career, who cares what other people think and say about you. Imagine how much more confident you would feel if you did not fear making mistakes and looking bad in front of people.

So how do you stop fearing mistakes and failure?

You have to change how you look at failure.

Failure is NOT the opposite of success; it is a part of success. - Arianna Huffington

You never actually fail if you learn from the experience. Experiences help us to learn and grow. I also get it that you want to avoid making mistakes and do the right thing in your job. But you are only human. It’s okay for you to make an error. How else will you learn and succeed? Let’s normalize that fear.

Be Confident by Adopting Good Habits

Now let’s switch gears and talk about the different ways you can boost your self-confidence.

MAKE AN EXTRA EFFORT TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Wouldn’t you agree that we are our own worst critics? The non-stop banter in your mind is constantly doubting and questioning your choices and decisions. This inner voice that persistently chirps negativity can be a destructive force to your self-confidence and self-esteem.

But the good news is that unlike the many things in life that you don’t control, you have the power over your inner voice. And you have to learn how to use this power. It’s natural to let the negative thoughts have their way, but you must confront them. Because controlling your own thoughts is the only way to start believing in yourself. And believing in yourself is the first step for building confidence.

#1 Good Habits to Build

1. Build the habit of staying alert and vigilant over your inside voice. When you feel your negative self-talk is creeping up in your mind, you have to gently yet quickly silence it. I do a mental exercise of pressing delete on the negative thought by visualizing myself pushing a keyboard’s delete button. And then, I challenge myself to replace negative thinking with something positive. It’s good to have 2-3 positive things about yourself in your back pocket to use in such situations. This is a fun exercise, and of course, it is super effective. Try it for yourself.

2. Affirmations are a powerful way to counter-argue the negative voices in your head. All you have to do is choose 3 positive affirmations. And then, build a habit of repeating your affirmations first thing in the morning and every night before bed. I keep my affirmations on my phone and say them aloud in front of the mirror. Here are a couple of examples of positive affirmations to help you get started.

I am capable, I am confident, and I am empowered.
I love who I am inside and out. And I love myself more and more because I keep learning, growing, and pushing myself to become a better, more confident version of myself.
I trust myself to do my best, and I am not afraid to make mistakes. Mistakes help me learn and grow even stronger and more confident in life.

CHALLENGE YOURSELF

This one is my favourite. You have to start seeing challenges not as obstacles but as opportunities. Opportunities to build your confidence. When you face your challenges in the face of fear and uncertainty, it gives you a significant boost in confidence. It’s a way to prove that you are unstoppable and ready to push yourself to achieve your big goals.

#2 Good Habits to Build:

Be in the habit to keep seeking stretch projects at work that allow you to learn and grow, use your strengths, and push you to prove your skills and abilities.

An objection that comes to mind is that you might be overloaded with work and unable to take on new projects. Well, in that case, keep an eye out for stretch projects that you can undertake. And the next time your manager is adding small projects to your list, you can be a proactive employee who comes with ideas on projects that add more value to your organization. It’s a double win, you get a stretch project, and you look like a committed and engaged employee too!

And if you feel you are stretched enough at work, think of a personal stretch goal that challenges you and inspires you to accomplish during personal time.

A side story; I took on a personal project of learning how to blow glass. It was absolutely amazing, and I pushed my limits to do something that was out of my comfort zone. And to be honest, facing the challenge of glass blowing and finding the time to do it actually boosted my confidence at work.

CONTROL YOUR REACTIONS

This one is all about stepping up your game in managing your emotional reactions to what other people say or do at work.

YOU HAVE TO, YOU MUST; you absolutely have to stop taking things personally at work. I know it might be challenging, but this is one of the most effective ways to keep your confidence intact.

Your boss and coworkers’ actions and words can sometimes shake your confidence. That is why you need to watch your reactions, protect yourself and not take everything to heart.

#3 Good Habits to Build:

If someone at work says something that threatens or affects your confidence, take a step back and evaluate the situation before reacting. First, acknowledge that your boss or peers are acting out, and it may have nothing to do with you. They are humans doing human things. We are all capable of childlike behaviours when frustrated, stressed and trying to protect our egos. And even though they are behaving in a way you don’t like, you have to control your reaction and not allow other people’s words and actions to impact your self-worth.

So, stay vigilant about your coworkers’ behaviour towards you. If you find that they are doing or saying something that has the potential to shake your confidence, then either:

Call them out on it. (if you prefer a more assertive approach)
Or decide that you are not going to take it personally. You will not allow your coworker’s actions to hurt your confidence. And then let it go and move on.

This approach is super empowering and radiates confidence that others will want for themselves and respect you for having it.

BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE BOOSTING ‘SUCCESS FILE”

A success file is an inventory of your big and small accomplishments and proud moments in your life. Having a success file is a super easy technique to help you shift your focus from thinking negatively about yourself to your strengths at any given time.

I start my day by taking a quick glimpse over my success list, and it gives me a little boost of confidence. And during the day, if I find myself engaging in negative self-talk, I stop and refer to my list. It naturally shuts the negative chatter and rekindles the belief that I am capable and strong.

#4 Good Habits to Build:

Start by jotting down 8-10 things that make you feel proud and good about yourself. The items don’t all have to be strictly professional; it’s good to have your personal accomplishments included as well. You can include: kudos emails from your managers or coworkers, challenges you have overcome, thank you notes sent to you, personal milestones reached, friends and family members you have supported, praise from your loved ones, fantastic performance reviews, etc.

Also, it’s essential to have your ‘Success File’ handy and easily accessible. I keep my success list on my google drive that I can access on my phone at any time.

LOOK AND FEEL THE PART

Finally, to be confident at work and in life, you have TO FEEL confident. So how do you get yourself to feel something that is not there? Well, the old cliche phrase comes into play here; you gotta “fake it till you make it.”

#5 Good Habits to Build:

Here are a few ideas to help you start feeling more confident at work:

Have a good posture. Stand tall and take up space.
Make eye contact with people. Smile.
Don’t fidget too much.
Speak slowly and clearly.
Use hand gestures carefully and minimally to show confidence, certainty, and power. Don’t cross your arms.

Summary: Be Confident

Remember that confidence is created; it is not passed down through genes. And, the sooner you can accept the responsibility to build your self-confidence, the faster you will see your best life unfold in front of you. It’s your decision and yours to make.

But you have to put in the work. You have to believe in yourself, challenge yourself, and never allow others to chip away your confidence. And if you can start believing in yourself more, it will show in your work and lead you to the success you desire in your life.