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7 Practical Ways To Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Live Life with Freedom

By Nukhba Khan

I feel as children we are taught to be competitive and do better than the other person. I am not sure if it is taught to us blatantly, but the need to outperform others is a goal we aspire for even as children. And that continues into our adult life. But in adulthood, it takes a more aggressive form where we can't stand someone else being successful because it makes us look bad or not good enough.

WE ARE CONSTANTLY COMPARING.

And now, with social media, finding someone who is doing better than yourself is literally at your fingertips. If you don't watch it, it can lead you to live in constant anxiety that you are not doing enough, or you are not doing it fast enough, or you are not doing it well enough. And once you get sucked into this habit of comparing yourself to others, it starts chipping away your self-worth. And that, my friend, is a dangerous path to take.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Theodore Roosevelt. Life Transformation Coach. Mindset Mentor. Work-Life Balance. Confidence

How Comparing Yourself to Others Impacts You.

IT SHIFTS YOUR FOCUS FROM THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE, YOU: When you are comparing yourself to others, you are doing yourself a big injustice.
- You are diminishing yourself in your own eyes! It will kill your confidence. Now, where is the self-love and self-respect?
- You are focusing on their strengths and your weaknesses. Is that even logical?
IT CREATES RESENTMENT: Yes, you can feel happy for your friend or peer's big win, but if you start to compare yourself to them and feel bad about yourself, it can cause envy. And suppose this envy is not processed correctly. In that case, it can leave a shade of resentment that is simply not healthy for your relationships.
IT WASTES YOUR TIME AND STEALS YOUR JOY Comparison distracts you, derails you, and disheartens you from your mission, goals, and peace of mind. It only spreads a feeling of lack. It really is the worst form of distraction. It is destructive if left unchecked.
YOU END UP WASTING MONEY: Yup, it can definitely make your wallet lighter. Because honestly, we all love some retail therapy to make us feel better about ourselves.

Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. Jon Acuff. Life Transformation Coach. Mindset Mentor. Work-Life Balance. Confidence

How to stop comparing yourself to others

Let's be honest. Some days you will do a better job at not comparing yourself to others, and some days you may struggle. And that is okay. This need to compare is universal, and it is ingrained in us and just how we operate. So, controlling the urge to compare yourself to others is a journey. It is going to be part of your life journey.

And that is why I want to show you some of the ways that will help you make sure that this journey of managing your need to compare is a smooth ride for you.

KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS

First and foremost, you have to raise your awareness of what exactly triggers you to compare yourself to others. Does it creep up more when you are on Instagram or LinkedIn? Does it happen more when you are looking at other people's professional successes or personal accomplishments? Learn about who and what triggers your sense of worth. Having this kind of information top of mind will help you be more vigilant and catch yourself when you start going down the rabbit hole of self-comparison.

KNOW YOUR PRIORITIES IN LIFE

Often we don't even know what we want. We just look at what other people have and feel bad that we don't have what they have. But we don't even stop and think if we even want what they have. Or what they might have sacrificed to get what they want, which might be a priority for you. For example, your peer might have climbed the corporate ladder at record speed, but they also have no kids. Do you see what I am getting at? You are only looking at their achievement and not seeing that their priorities in life might be different from you.

So maybe it's time to list out your top priorities in life and remind yourself about them. Because knowing your preferences can help you limit your habit of comparing and realize that your priorities are different and your happiness looks different from others.

COMPETE WITH YOURSELF

Be in competition with yourself. Because honestly, that is what matters. And there is a feeling of true joy when you see yourself growing and becoming a better, more talented person over time.

So next time you are thinking whether or not you are making more money than your peers or friends, instead ask, am I making more money than I did last year? Or when you are comparing the size of your waist with that girl running on the treadmill next to you, shift your focus back on you and ask, are you in better shape than you were a month ago? As long as you are making progress, who really cares how well others are doing! You do you! Right?!

SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE

This is my favorite technique to control my habit of comparisonitis. Instead of looking at other people's successes and fortune and feeling bad about yourself, try to find inspiration from them. Tell yourself if they can do it, so can you (If you really wanted it!) This has been refreshing, especially on Instagram, because it inspires me to see all the real-life examples of what all is possible as an entrepreneur.

If you find yourself looking at someone with envy, stop and ask yourself, 'is this what I want. If it is, ask yourself what you can learn from this person to help you achieve similar results. Let others be the motivation and inspiration, and not your misery.

KNOW YOUR WINS

Always have a list of all your personal and professional accomplishments (big or small) that you are proud of and always have it on hand. The next time you start feeling bad about yourself, take out this list and remind yourself how far you have come and how much you have already achieved.

START WITH GRATITUDE

This is an obvious tip. But it must be repeated because it is incredibly effective when you are in the habit of comparing yourself with others and making yourself feel bad about yourself. Practicing a morning routine of writing down at least 5 things you are grateful for pushes you to recognize the good things in your life. This helps to shift your energy from lack to abundance. Honestly, my gratitude practice has been my lifeline.

SOCIAL MEDIA BOUNDARIES

Okay, this is absolutely essential! We are not responsible adults if we don't control or restrict our social media scrolling. Here are 3 examples of social media boundaries. These practices will not only help you with your issue of comparisonitis but will help improve your overall well-being.

Set your time limit. How much time will you allow yourself to scroll on your phone?
Make it a practice to be more conscious, awake, aware of your emotions and feelings when doom scrolling.
Try to do social media fast at least once a month. If you have not tried it already, you must - it is the most refreshing experience ;)

Final Thoughts

The real problem of comparing yourself with others is that you focus on someone else's strengths and your weaknesses. This is simply not a fair comparison and leads to unnecessary self-doubt and loss of confidence in yourself. Even when it is an absolutely illogical practice to compare yourself to others, it is still something we all engage in too frequently. But we all need to learn to better manage and control this dangerous habit. This is possible when you drill in your mind that you are doing a massive disservice to your uniqueness and giving away your power by comparing yourself to others. Your power to be authentically you.

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In this guide, you will learn how to: