How Your Negative Thinking At Work Is Sabotaging Your Success And Happiness

By Nukhba Khan

I still remember the days when my morning drive to work was the most traumatizing experience ever. As soon as I got into my car in the morning, I would start thinking about the worst-case scenario thoughts about my work-day.

Does that happen to you?

…Thinking through my exhaustive to-do list for that day and STRESSING that I won't have time to get it all done.

…Remembering that I had a meeting set up with that co-worker who gets under my skin and DREADING dealing with this person.

…Reminding myself about the presentation deck that I submitted for review to my manager and FEARING if I had made mistakes or not done a good enough job.

All these negative thoughts that ran through my head created this gut-churning anxiety inside me. These negative thoughts didn't just ruin my morning drive; they actually started the momentum for me to hate my workday every day. And quite frankly hate my work life.

And it all started with my thoughts. MY THOUGHTS WERE RUINING MY WORK-LIFE.

If you suffer from a similar ordeal, let me show you how you can take back control over your thoughts and create your happy and successful work-life that you deserve.

So let's start by understanding the 'underestimated' power of our thoughts.

THE POWER OF THOUGHTS

The most powerful force in your life is your thoughts.

YOUR THOUGHTS AND THOUGHTS ALONE CAN EMPOWER YOU TO LIVE A HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL LIFE OR LIVE A LIFE IN GREAT PAIN AND SUFFERING.

It's a choice - a choice of what thoughts you decide to entertain in your mind.

This is how thoughts impact your work-life

➡️A neutral EVENT occurs at work.

➡️A negative or positive internal dialogue or THOUGHTS are formulated in your head.

➡️Based on the internal dialogue, you create a BELIEF around what happened, which stirs up different FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

➡️These feelings and emotions influence the corresponding ACTION you decide to take.

And since your work-life is a sum of your actions, and your actions are determined by your thoughts. This means your thoughts drive the quality of your work-life, and ultimately the success and happiness you achieve in your life.

THE IMPACT OF YOUR THOUGHTS ON YOUR WORK-LIFE

Here is an example of how all this plays out and the impact your thoughts are having on your work-life.

Suppose I am having a meeting with my manager regarding a project I am working on. And she/he/they says, "You are on the right track with this project. But please take a look at Sam's work (Sam is another colleague at work) because she has done a phenomenal analysis. It might help you in your project."

Neutral Event: My manager provides feedback on my work and provides suggestions on how I can improve.

Now perhaps my natural reaction would be to feel like my ego has been shattered because my boss just told me that my peer's work is better than mine. This is the crucial point because this is the point that will determine my fate for the next few hours or days, or maybe it will have long-term consequences.

I have a choice.

CHOICE 1: THINK NEGATIVELY

I immediately feel defensive and start thinking that my boss is biased and always recognizes my colleague's work. I also think, oh gosh, I worked so hard on this project, and my work is never good enough. I could also start entertaining the thought/belief that my boss is never pleased with my work and hate my boss.

Negative Thought: I can never do a good enough job.

Negative Belief: My boss will never be happy with my work, and there is always someone who does the job better than me.

Negative Feeling: I feel frustrated, defeated, demotivated, and fearful.

End Result: Feeling annoyed, I go back to my desk, and with these negative emotions and feelings, I start doing my work with anger and fear in my heart. Think about what kind of quality work I will do and how I will show up at work for the next few hours? Obviously unhappy and dissatisfied with everything … my work, myself, my boss, my job … my entire work-life.

My negative thinking impacted:

My relationship with my boss, I now feel resentful towards my manager.
My motivation, my energy, and enthusiasm levels for work just tanked
My quality of work, my ability to stay focused and creative on the job is diminished
My self-worth and confidence, I now question my skills and expertise
My stress levels, I am worried I cannot do a good enough job at work

Now let's look at the other option.

CHOICE 2: THINK POSITIVELY

I immediately feel defensive, but I know the impact of my thoughts on my life, so I consciously control the thoughts in my head. Okay, it hurts that maybe my work was not as good enough as that of my colleague. But I tried my best, and I am happy with the progress I made. And it is possible that my boss is looking out for me and wants me to do an excellent job at work, so she recommends that I get some ideas from my colleague's work. There is no harm in that.

Positive Thought: I am happy with the progress I am making with my work. This was good feedback.

Positive Belief: My boss is looking out for me and sees my potential to knock this project outta the park.

Positive Feeling: I feel motivated, energized, and hopeful.

End Positive Result: Feeling inspired, I go back to my desk with positive emotions. I start to brainstorm different ways to improve my project. Think about what kind of quality work I will do and how I will show up at work for the next few hours? Obviously, I will be feeling good and looking forward to everything: my work, performance, job … my entire work-life.

My positive thinking impacted:

My relationship with my boss; I feel I have a great boss looking out for me.
My motivation, my energy, and enthusiasm levels for work just skyrocketed.
My quality of work, I am determined to stay focused on the project to create my best work.
My self-worth and confidence, I am proud of my progress and confident that I can do even better.
My stress levels, I feel calm and relaxed about work.

Do you see the substantial difference thoughts can make on your workday or rather work-life?

HOW TO STOP YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AT WORK

Now you might be saying I get it. I get the profound damaging impact of negative thinking on my success and happiness at work. But my negative thinking is like a beast, and it works on auto-pilot. I just can't control such destructive thoughts at the moment! And I totally get that.

I felt that way too.

But here is the thing. Like everything else in life, good things don't come easy. You gotta train your mind, build the habit, develop the skill set to control your thoughts. It requires determination, willpower, and dedication. There is no easy way.

When you know what a huge impact your thoughts can make on your life, that should be enough to motivate and drive you to put in the work!

So are you ready?

What I found super beneficial when I started on this path of managing and controlling my thoughts was how important it was to understand my negative thinking style. We all follow typical negative thought patterns. If you raise your awareness around what pattern you follow, it becomes easier to catch 'em and reverse them.

Picture of a work desk, with an open laptop, with caption 7 negative thinking patterns to avoid at work. Life Transformation Coach. Mindset Mentor. Work-Life Balance.

7 COMMON NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS to be aware of:

(Source: MDIS, Negative Thoughts In The Workplace and How to Fight Them)

Personalizing: Assuming you are to blame for anything that goes wrong.
- My manager seems off today. I must have done something wrong.
Blaming: This is the opposite of personalizing; it's never you and is always someone else's fault.
- I did not meet the deadline; I hate my colleagues for never helping me last minute.
Mental Filtering: The habit of looking at only the negative side of any situation
- I am so busy this week. I hate my job.
Catastrophizing: Thinking about the worst possible outcomes
- I missed a deadline; I am going to get fired.
All or nothing thinking: see situations in extremes, without any middle ground.
- I did not get a promotion. That means I'm bad at work.
FortuneTelling: to make a prediction based on fear and not fact, i.e., we take one negative experience and predict future adverse events.
- My presentation was a complete failure; I am never going to be able to present with ease ever again.
Demanding: Saying words like - ‘I should’ and ‘I must’ creates unnecessary pressure and unrealistic expectations that drive self-criticism.
- The meeting is over, but I should have spoken up more during the session.

Once you know these different negative thinking categories, it can help you identify your negative thinking pattern. Ultimately helping you raise your self-awareness. And that is by far the first and most essential step. Once you have raised your awareness of your incoming negative thought pattern, you can control, challenge, and change your thought.

It's totally normal to have more than one negative thinking style. I have been guilty of falling in all categories at some point in my life. The idea is to know your most prominent style and acknowledge that different situations can result in different negative thinking styles.

Woman smiling with caption 5 simple steps to free yourself from negative thinking at work.Life Transformation Coach. Mindset Mentor. Work-Life Balance.

The name of the game here is to raise awareness. So once you have the awareness, here are:

5-STEPS TO KICK OUT THE NEGATIVE THINKING FROM YOUR MIND.

1️⃣FIRST: RECOGNIZE IT

Say to yourself, there I go again with my negative thoughts, but this thought is not good for my health and happiness, and it has to go.

2️⃣SECOND: REFUSE IT, immediately disassociate yourself from your negative thoughts.

Say to yourself; I am not my thoughts. This is just a thought, and this thought does not define me.

3️⃣THIRD CHALLENGE IT, take your thoughts to court.

Start asking yourself if the thought is true or baseless? Is it helping your situation or making it worse? Is it important for you to be thinking this way, and if you feel it is helping, then define how it is helping you?

4️⃣FOURTH REFRAME IT, turn the negative into positive.

Once you have challenged the thought and realized it's baseless and unhelpful, reframe the negative thought and give it a positive spin. (even if it feels difficult, attempt to find the positive side. I promise it will get easier to do.

5️⃣FIFTH: DIVERT IT

After reframing your thought, you have to fully let it go by diverting attention and shifting your focus. This will give your signal a mind that this thought is not essential, and you will stop dwelling in that negative thought pattern. The best way is to take a deep breath and focus your energy on something positive. For example, think about your strengths, things you are grateful for at that moment or generally in life, think about what you are learning from the situation. And if you can go outside for a walk, enjoy nature and get a breath of fresh air.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I cannot repeat this enough - your thoughts impact your well-being, happiness, and even the success you achieve at work.

The natural tendency is to point the finger outwards for the misery we feel at work. But I highly encourage you to look inward and check the health of your thought patterns. And ask yourself is it possible that your thoughts could also be a factor in you feeling unhappy at work.

And if you think yup, possibly - I am often thinking negatively at work. Then learning to be aware of your thoughts at work is the first and most crucial step in changing your negative mindset.

You have to commit to practice and master the skill of catching, controlling, and challenging your negative thought patterns.

These quotes inspired me to start working on my thoughts. I hope they inspire you too.

“You either control your mind, or it controls you” - Napoleon Hill
“The mind (your thoughts) is a powerful force; it can enslave us or empower us. It can plunge us into depths of misery or take us to the heights of ecstasy. Learn to use the power wisely” - David Cuschieri
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality” - Seneca

So are you ready to commit to transforming your life by changing the way you think at work?

Cheering for you,