Why Do I Lack Confidence in The Workplace and Don't Trust Myself?

by nukhba khan

Why Do I Lack Confidence?

I spent almost two decades working as a marketer in different organizations. And even though I did my job well, there was not a day that I felt fully confident about the work I was producing. In my professional journey, I reported to many bosses, and they all intimidated me. I always worried that they would think that my work was not up to their standards, and I questioned my skills almost daily. I had a total lack of confidence on the job.

And I know that I am not so unusual. Talking to colleagues, friends, and clients, feeling insecure at work is a constant struggle for women. But why do educated and talented women lack confidence at work?

Honestly, in most cases, it stems from a LACK OF BELIEF IN YOURSELF.

So the question again is, why don’t we believe in ourselves, our abilities, and our capabilities?

There can be many reasons for your lack of self-belief. It could be the fear of failure and focusing on all the times you have failed. Or, it could be that you have not had the support or circumstances to really build up your self-worth.

But the deeper and more underlying cause is that there is a CORE LIMITING BELIEF that you hold about yourself. This belief started with a thought about yourself that either you came up with it or someone said something to you, and you believed it to be true. You then likely kept finding proof to validate this thought and kept repeating it in your mind. What started as a limiting thought about yourself has now become a deeply imprinted belief in your system, and you don’t even stop to question it anymore.

Some common examples of limiting beliefs are:

1. I am not good enough.

2. It’s possible for others but not for me.

3. I can’t ask for what I want because I will get rejected

4. Things never work out for me.

5. I have to work twice as hard to get the same result.

Your limiting beliefs end up influencing the way you think. They are the reason why you constantly doubt yourself, don’t believe in yourself, and why you lack confidence at work or generally in life.

Uncovering your limiting belief is the prerequisite for you to start trusting yourself to feel confident at the workplace. But before I share how to uncover and overcome your limiting beliefs, let’s first talk about why confidence is important in the workplace. This will help motivate and inspire you to do the work necessary for letting go of your limiting beliefs.

Importance of Confidence at WorK

Yes, confidence will help you feel good about yourself and help you move forward to better your life. But I want to tell you something that may sound superficial at first, yet it can be a big driving force to get pumped to do the work necessary to build your confidence.

Confidence makes you richer.

Yup, I did say that it may sound superficial, but who does not want a little more money in the pocket!

Do you want more financial stability?

If you do, then making an effort to work on your confidence is necessary. Because one of the main obstacles to your financial success is low self-confidence. You see, when you are not confident at work, you end up engaging in subconscious behaviors that limit your success and your chance for a pay-raise and promotions. Furthermore, when you are not confident at work, people notice it. Your bosses, colleagues, clients, and customers will make negative assumptions about you if you show behaviors of someone with low confidence. There is a common belief that low confidence goes hand in hand with incompetency.

Your low self-confidence is not just a minor annoyance; it is getting in the way of your financially abundant life. It’s time for you to say enough is enough and start working on building your confidence and abundantly rich life.

Ladies, it’s time to get over your confidence problem!

Confidence: How to Build It

The most powerful way to build and boost your confidence is to first identify the unique limiting belief holding you back at work. Next, you have to rewire the brain with intention by replacing your limiting belief with an empowering belief that fuels you to believe in yourself and your worth.

Step 1: Identifying your limiting belief

Think of a specific scenario from your work-life where you experienced significant self-doubt and felt you were lacking in confidence.
Sit with a piece of paper and pen. And write down all the thoughts and stories that came to mind when you were in the chosen scenario. Keep probing why you think that way. Asking “why” again and again will help you get closer to the root of your self-limiting belief

This exercise is only a fact-finding mission so write them without judgment or blame. As if you’re analyzing the situation from the outside.

For example, you are overdue for a promotion, and a perfect opportunity has opened up with a colleague’s resignation. You know you have the experience to qualify for the role, but you are afraid to ask your boss because you are not confident and deep down think you will be rejected.

So on a piece of paper, you would write: I am scared to ask for the promotion because ….

And it would look something like this:

I am scared to ask for the promotion because, deep down, I don’t think that I deserve it

I don’t deserve it because I don’t think I have proven myself to be deserving of the role

I haven’t proven myself because my colleagues have set really high standards that I can’t compare myself with yet

I can’t reach the high standards because I am not as good as them

I am not as good as my colleagues because their work is so much better than mine

My work is not good enough because I am not as qualified, i.e., I am not good enough.

Now it’s your turn.

Step 2: Reframing your limiting belief

To break the hold that your old beliefs have on you, you need to replace them with empowering beliefs. So, reframe the limiting beliefs you’ve identified and formulate a new hypothesis that empowers you to believe in yourself and your capabilities.

For example:

Original belief: “I don’t think I’m qualified (good enough) to deserve a promotion or get a better job.”

Reframed belief: “I am more than enough, and I am deserving of the professional success I seek because I work hard and give it my 110%. I am ready for new challenges, I am ready to learn, and I know I will be perfect in my new role. I am ready to do what’s important to move my career and life forward.”

Your turn.

Step 3: Repeating your new empowering belief

Write out or speak your new belief repeatedly at specific times every day. Initially, these positive statements that you repeat may not feel true. But trust me, as you keep repeating them, you train the brain to think naturally in that positive way. And over time, it will become second nature to have empowering thoughts about yourself.

Final Thoughts: Confidence in the Workplace

If you read this blog and think that this may work for someone else, it won’t work for you. Then you are absolutely right. Yes, it won’t work for you.

Because a big and important piece in achieving any goal is believing it’s possible to do so.

So the last piece of advice that I want to leave you with is this: You have to believe that you can be confident at work. And because you think it is possible, you are ready to do everything and anything to make it possible, including making time to figure out your limiting beliefs that are hindering your confidence in life.

NOTHING WILL WORK IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN IT.

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, NOTHING WILL WORK IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

P.S. Want to learn a really cool step-by-step method to better control your feelings and emotions at work? And finally, stop letting external things, people, events, situations dictate how you feel?

👇Download👇the free guide: 5-Step Guide to Becoming a Happier You at Work

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